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September 23, 2019 – Monologue Jokes
1. A documentary about alleged sexual abuse by Michael Jackson won an Emmy on Saturday. In response, the estate of Michael Jackson said the late singer would be horrified by the award, mainly because...
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October 21, 2019 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new study, owning a dog is tied to lowering your risk of dying early by 24%. Counterpoint: 2. This week, NASA astronauts Jessica Meir and Christina Koch conducted the first all-female...
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November 4, 2019 – Monologues Jokes
1. The makers of the board game Clue have announced that the game’s next edition will be the first to feature a bathroom as a possible crime scene. As in, “Professor Plum, in the bathroom, one hour...
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November 25, 2019 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a recent article, Mayor Pete Buttigieg only packed four shirts for his bus tour around Iowa. And when he says he only packed four shirts, he means it: 2. President Trump reportedly...
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January 20, 2020 – Monologue Jokes
1. Madame Tussauds waxwork museum in London announced last week that it had removed figures of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle from their royal exhibit. The last time a room full of royals cleared out...
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February 3, 2020 – Monologue Jokes
1. President Trump said on Monday the United States and China were in close contact regarding the newly identified coronavirus outbreak. “Close contact? Be careful, you might contract something,” said...
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March 16, 2020 – Monologue Jokes
1. Doctors who transplanted a complete penis onto a wounded soldier reported Wednesday that the man has regained near-normal erections and the ability to achieve orgasm more than one year after the...
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April 13, 2020 – Monologue Jokes
1. There is a new show on Quibi called ‘Murder House Flip’ where people renovate notorious homicide homes. “If this keeps up much longer, they’re gonna have a lot more homes to choose from,” said...
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April 27, 2020 – Monologue Jokes
1. Street artist Banksy revealed his latest work, a picture that he painted on the wall of his bathroom while under coronavirus quarantine. While my roommate revealed more of a Jackson Pollack in our...
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May 14, 2020 – Monologue Jokes
1. Queen guitarist Brian May was hospitalized last week after tearing hit buttock muscles while gardening. Said May, “Please tell people I have coronavirus.” 2. The European Space Agency said this...
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