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September 25, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Next week the Supreme Court returns to work and is expected to decide if statements made on social media sites should be enough to put someone in jail. And, if the social media site in question is...
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September 26, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Two people are suing Madison Square Garden for allegedly over-serving them at a recent Billy Joel concert. When he heard the news, Joel, out of habit, exclaimed, “I wasn’t the one driving, I swear!”...
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October 1, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. New grandmother Hillary Clinton was presented with a slew of gifts, mostly books, for her new granddaughter, Monday afternoon at private New York City fundraiser. The presents included a special...
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October 3, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. It was reported yesterday that comedian Adam Sandler signed a four picture deal with Netflix. And, in related news, Rob Schneider has signed a deal to open an account with Netflix. 2. It was...
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October 6, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. During a question and answer session at Harvard, Joe Biden said being Vice President can be “a bitch.” But if you ask me, that’s just Biden wanting to be President and trying to convince Hillary...
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October 7, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new study, young kids who were exposed to BPA before birth are more likely to have a wheeze before the age of five. Also a contributing factor to developing a wheeze, marrying George...
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October 8, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, three scientists were awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics for helping to create the LED light. The ceremony will be held in an empty but well-lit room. 2. According to a new report,...
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October 9, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. The trial of NFL running back Adrian Peterson may be delayed if the judge assigned to the case is forced to recuse himself after referring to the attorney’s on the case as “media whores.” But,...
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October 21, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Monday, the U.S. government approved the sale to Iraq of $600 million in tank ammunition. But, don’t worry, we’ll get most of it back for free when they shoot it at us. 2. Multiple California...
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October 24, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, reality star Kim Kardashian said she wants her daughter North West to have a job. Isn’t that always the case, parents wanting their children to accomplish more than they did. 2. DNA from...
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October 27, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. It is being reported that Honey Boo Boo’s mom, Mama June, is dating a convicted child molestor. Man, that dad from “7th Heaven” will do just about to get back on TV. 2. On Friday, TLC canceled its...
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October 28, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, singer Taylor Swift released her highly-anticipated new album entitled “1989.” She chose the name because she was born in 1989 and it’s a great reminder how little you’ve accomplished in...
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November 7, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Harvard University has started offering a new class as part of its annual sex week called Anal Sex 101. Really? Seems like more of a Brown University class. 2. Former Navy Seal Robert O’Neill said...
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November 17, 2014 – Monologue Joke
1. Tennessee Titans tight-end Chase Coffman has been fined $30,000 by the NFL for hitting a Baltimore Ravens assistant coach on the sidelines during a game last week. But, on the plus-side, at least...
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November 19, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Over the weekend, Beyonce’s younger sister, Solange Knowles, got married. Solange wore a dress by designer Stephanie Rolland, while Jay-Z wore a suit of armor. 2. 80-year-old Charles Manson is set...
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November 20, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. President Obama will announce his plan to fix immigration today at 8pm during a nationally televised press conference. His plan, step one, wait two years. Step two, let Hillary deal with this shit....
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November 21, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. The creators of the Lammily Doll, a realistic version of Barbie, are offering special sticker packs which allow kids to give the dolls acne, cellulite and tattoos. As a result, the makers of the...
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November 25, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, embattled comedian Bill Cosby’s show in Yakima, Washington was canceled by event organizers. But, if I know anything about Cosby, he doesn’t take “no” for an answer. 2. The Grand Jury in...
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December 1, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Saturday, a man in Colombia held a wedding ceremony for his marriage to a tree. So, I guess, technically you were right, those are woodpecker marks. 2. Amid re-surfacing allegations of sexual...
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December 4, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. A Canadian family lived with a corpse in their upstairs bedroom for six months because they believed the deceased man would be resurrected if they prayed. Which goes a long way in explaining how Rob...
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